Endless love

Endless love

I am so surprised when I read one message in my phone box. New number which very foreign for me, but when I asked who she is, she answer “ Reny “.

“ Reny….” I said in my heart.

That name not foreign for me, because that name the first was made me cried because she has grab my boyfriend.

Those names again remind me at very man buttonhole of darling me which have made disappointed me and weep.

My heart uncertain was making of it. That message made me jumpy so because did not usually one who possible I hate sent message to me which its contents asked him…one who nowadays went far leaf  me.

I try to reply that message with liver which so not course, but remain to my try to behave habit of friendly to her.

“ Ris,,,,” there is which wish I discuss and I ask about Akbar ( my ex-boyfriend)  to you….please I hope you are want it “ asked her in next message.

“Akbar” I asked in my heart

What happening with him…..

Huh….my heart became not course…..

 What it was relation with me, or she just want to know about Akbar from me.

God …… my mind started lost in thought searched for answers to that message……..what….how….why….????

Humft… all of started possessing by my mind.

***

Kriiiing……………kriiiing…….. Alarms sound so loud till rousing me.

Humfttt…just direct of me killed and finally I draw my blanket again.

Riska…………………!!!!!! My mother’s sound scatter my dream, disguised I heard my mother sound complained because I did not directly woke up.

Directly I woke up and clear up my bed then directly I took my towel to take a bath.

“ Riska…..” hurry up you were went school late “ my mother’s said.

“Yes mom...For minute” I said to my mom.

I run from my bed room and I took bread in eat table which my mom prepared to me.

“Morning Mrs. Late” I heard my brother’s sound while he ran my hair which was neatly.

“Resented you were” I said while I threw he was with my shoes which I want used.

“Already… you were always joke” said my mom break up.

“He was who started” I answered while I took my motorcycle’s key.

“Mom I was leaving” I said while I kissed my mother’s hand.

***

The message last night till makes me keep question. My mind be lost in thought star digress find answer about that which was she said to me.

Why must I’m….what the relations with me….what Akbar said to Reny about me...humftt that all spur in my mind.

Bletakkkk……..!!!!

The eraser threw in my chair.

“ Riska! Retell my explanation!” said Mrs. Astri my biology’s teacher.

I was so panicky…. ….seriously!! Because the message last night.

“Em… “I smiled so shy.

“Instead smiled”!! Did you think I was so joke?! Said Mrs. Astri

“If you were pile up again, better you were left this class” she said while continuo her explanations.

***

“Hi, Ris…!! “ Andien, my friend, while slope my shoulder after the class finished.

“What the matter you were pile up, till Mrs. Astri agreed whit you?

I shake my head quickly. Drains color from my faces.

“Akh nothing problem….never mind”

“You are lies …not usually you are pile up in class room”.

“If you till regard me as your friend” Andien say while swing round her faces.

“Yes…yes…!!! I answer quickly

“Last night, Reny sent me message. She said she want told with me about Akbar.

“What…?!!  She called surprised

“ssssht….! Do not lauders please; I did not want all people knew about it.

“Ok…Ok…Why she sent message to you? Akbar was ex-your boyfriend, which is not your business” Andien said little angered

“I did not know…I did not understood what she wants from me”

“Humfft…so strange…!! Andin while shrink her faces.

***

“Riska !!!

That sounds heard so lauder called me from my back. Appears Reny, I thought who.

“Ris, I was sorry I disturb you, can we are tell now” Reni said while draw my hand to follow her.

“Now..?!? Ok what matters you want say to me?

“I wan to ask you about Akbar”

“About Akbar” I answered cut her talking.

“Yaps, I want to know why you were finished your relationship, and why your acted as if so different to me?

“I am…” I say little knock and so confuse must what I say.

 Exactly I felt strange with you were act to me. Why you bob up and down this problem, and I was willing Akbar for you.

 “No.. I hope you did not negative thinking, I just want to know how Akbar’s attitude whose really because you were his ex-girl friend” she said live miserably

“I am sorry ris if so long I have negative thinking about you, I only want to prove whom Akbar said about you. That was true or not.

“Akbar said…?? I answer with angry intonation.

“What Akbar said about me” I say with opportunity intonation

“Akbar said that you were materialist’s girl, and many others. I thought he whom made used of my self. I want to know what he was thought by me.

I keep silent and so surprised when I heard it. I started to explain all, the reason why I decided to finish my relationship and tried to explain might just think it.

“Oh…forgive me Ris, I was negative thinking to you, that is make me know who he is.

***

Tonight is raining hard; the follow thunderclap which makes me so surprise and makes my mind fly remember all what Reny’s said. Humft I not understand why Akbar can say that, but I was so good to him.

“What my wrong to him” I said in my heart

“Maybe because I was finished my relationship with him, and he did not received that so he was hate me”

 So resenttttttt……………..!!!!

I shout so lauder and not feel I cry after so long time I do not cry for whoever especially Akbar.

“Riska…what happen..?? My mother sound called me behind the my bed room door.

“No mom, I am just fine”

“Ok, I think any problem with you”

***

In my mind just Akbar, Akbar, and Akbar’s names. I want to meet him and I want to ask him about this problem. Why he giving it to me…why… why…

I see Akbar who new arrive occupy his chair whit usually face, wearing hand-free without any problem.

I so busy find out the time to can talk whit him.

TEEEET…..!!!

The lesson time was finished; I directly come near Akbar who clears up his books.

“Akbar I want to tell important something with you”

“What you want talk with me??”

“I want to ask you, what matter always you told to Reny about me”

“I am…??

“I did not think you did it to me, what is my sin to you” I say so lauder and not felt I cry in front of him

Akbar just stay cold heard that, he instead make me hate him”

“I hate you Akbar” while I left him

“ Ris… waiting please” he try to stop my walk, but I ignore him because my hate to him. I continuo my walk get out from the class which have so quite and only Akbar and I there.

***

“Riska!!!

I heard Andien’s sound called me from my back and directly I wipe away my tears.

“Yaps Dien, what happen?”

Are you fine Ris?

“I…I am fine”

“How about  Akbar reaction about that problem?

“As usually, he just stayed cool, as he did not have sin to me”

“humft….have not heart”

“Yaps I think so”

***

Gubrak…..

I crash into on my bed in my bed rom. I trun on radio and not intentional I hear “ingin hilang ingatan song” which sing by rocket Rocker.

………………………………………..

Pergilah bersamanya disana

Dengan dia yang ada segalanya

Bersenang-senaglah sepuasnya

Biarkan disini ku menyendiri

Disini kembali kau hadirkan

Ingatan yang seharusnya kulupakan

Dan kuhancurkan adanya

……………………………….

Humft…that song increases broke my heartafter this problem. That song remembered me to Akbar….Akbar….and Akbar.i feel want to lost my mind as that song, in order I can forget all of which made me hurt. Why he must stay in my heart, why he made me involve to his problem. After that moment last noon I more hate him.

***

I feel so lazy to go to school, because certain I met Akbar. His one class with me XI saint 3. Every I met him, I always swing round my faces and I always pulled to him.

Some week the condition as that, I till can not forgive him.

Arrive one day I not see him at class, I try to find information about that. I try to ask his real friends, but not yet know about that.

Some day Akbar absent, make me so confuse. I try to call his parents because Akbar ever used my number to call his parent in Bogor.

“Akbar is being treated in hospital”

That statement make my knees knock, gambling that make me be hidden and can not stand up.

I directly ask hospital address, and then I directly go there.

***

‘Excuse me, may I ask you” I ask to nurse

“What can I help you?”

“Where is Akbar ramadhan’s room?”

“Ok wait a minute” she find out in administrations book

“In room number 193” receptionists say it

“Thank very much” I say

I directly to find out that room, and finally I see someone sitting in chair in front of that room.

“Excuse me mom, it is Akbar Ramadhan’s room”

“O…that’s right, I am Akbar’s mother”

“I am Riska,,, Akbar’s friend”

“Riska!!!

Akbar’s mom directly embrace me, and she cry.

I try to make her comfort, and ask about akbar’s condition.

“Forgive him Ris,” she said

She retell about Akbar’s disease. Beside that she give me information that Akbar has engaged, he was we be paired because that disease.

“What….?!! He has engage??” so during now he just made used of Reny and I”

“Forgive him Riss, forgive alls sin to you and Reny. He did not made it to you”

“Akbarrrr!!!

I hear shouted from in Akbar’s room, and we are going there. I see somebody near Akbar’s bed.

“She is Santi, Akbar’s gilr friend” Akbar’s mom said

Santi directly embrace her, while she cries.

“Akbar was gone” Santi said to me and his mother.

“God,,,,,what it is only my dream?” I said in my heart

Impossible, no, I directly come to Akbar. I held his hand; I feel his hand so cold and cry.

***

After Akbar was gone, I feel so shock. I feel it because Akbar is one of people who I miss. I try to forget him, but his creature always in my mind.

“Akbar, I have forgiven you. I hope you are composed there”

THE END